Comfort Zone, Exit Stage Left!

As the launch date for this adventure approaches, the realization of just how far out of my comfort zone this trip is going to take me, is beginning to set in. Moving to a city, even for one month, brings up fears and anxieties that might otherwise have remained dormant had I not decided that it was time to "shake up" my snow globe. It has taken everything I have to quiet the "what ifs" that are drag racing through my mind at lightening speed. 

When I had my son, I vowed that I would never "imprint" any of my own fears and anxieties on him. As an example of this, I was deathly afraid of thunder and lightening as far back as I can remember.  If I happened to be in a car while a thunder and lightening storm was occurring, I would wait there until the storm passed, rather than running the 10 feet to my door.  If I was in the house at the time, you would most likely find me hanging out in our windowless storage room in the cellar or if it were really bad, a closet in a bedroom.  When Bo was little, instead of allowing him to see the intense fear and anxiety these storms would cause me, I opted instead to make light of them. By doing so, I was hopeful that he would not become afraid of them simply because I was. Instead, gritting my teeth and doing all I could do to hold it together mentally, I would take his hand and pull him to the center of the room.  There we would dance around, laughing and singing, as if the thunder and lightening crackling outside the window was music, instead of something that I believed was more sinister. As the "music" increased, so would the volume of our laughing and singing.  To this day, my son isn't afraid of thunder and lightening and strangely enough, neither am I.  After a while, I found myself enjoying these storms.  They became a form of entertainment for me and when one approaches now, I often wonder just how "big and over the top" it will be.

Unfortunately, this strategy doesn't apply to every situation. Some fears and anxieties are inherent , rather than learned from outside influences and those are much more difficult to overcome..  Those are the ones that can be extremely oppressive, and not allow us to live our lives the way we were intended to; with fulfillment, purpose and direction.  So, although it is true that we can't eliminate all of our fears and anxieties, getting rid of the ones that we do have some control over, can make our lives that much more enjoyable. In the same way I faced the storms raging outside my living room window in order to show my son that they are not to be feared, I face this trip to New York, hopeful that my son will see that living life is not meant to be feared either. 

"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up -- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.  - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross